


Manfred's Revenge

by Arnie



Category: The Rat Patrol
Genre: Bad Poetry, Gen, Humor, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-13
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:36:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25241773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arnie/pseuds/Arnie
Summary: Manfred wants revenge and the guys reveal their secrets.Not to be taken seriously.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	Manfred's Revenge

The Desert Rats were playing cards  
All gathered 'round the fire,  
When suddenly, from out the dark,  
A voice said, "You're a liar!"

The men all turned as one to see  
The one that lurked nearby,  
But nothing moved the bushes  
Till they heard a little sigh.

"I say again," the voice declared,  
"That you are such a liar."  
The men all stared with puzzled frowns  
Across the burning fire.

Finally, dear Moffitt spoke,  
"Do you mean me?" he asked.  
The voice grew sharper in the dark  
As it took the man to task.

"Not just you," the voice replied,  
While trying not to snicker.  
"You all have secrets to declare...  
Now who likes women's knickers?"

"Not me!" "Nor me!" the cry went up,  
As horrified they sat.  
"If they're on women," Hitch stated,  
"There's nothing wrong with that."

"Good point," replied their leader, Troy,  
A smile upon his face.  
"Women's panties are just fine,  
When in the proper place."

The voice, it sighed impatiently,  
And muttered, "Very well.  
But you all have secrets, that I know!  
Unless you'd prefer to tell?"

Hitch flushed a bit and looked around,  
While chewing on his gum.  
"I must confess, I have a fault...  
I love to suck my thumb!"

He shook his head reflectively,  
"It started as a child.  
The habit is so hard to break,  
It really drives me wild!

The only time I can resist,  
Is when we're out all day,  
I chew on gum eternally,  
And it takes all my pay!"

"That's nothing," Troy made up his mind  
To tell his men his vice,  
"I love to watch those women dance,  
They 'Shake it' really nice!"

"Belly dancers? Surely not!  
How could you?" Moffitt cried.  
Troy hung his head as Moffitt stood,  
All stunned and horrified.

"Well, what's your secret?" Tully asked,  
Gazing at our Moffitt,  
"Don't tell me - you're selling Jeeps,  
And pocketing the profit!"

"How dare you!" Moffitt did retort,  
As they all looked at him,  
"My secret is the Green Tea Diet,  
That keeps me nice and slim!"

"So that just leaves you, Tully,"  
Hitch murmured, blowing bubbles.  
"Yeah, spit it out, and fast," said Troy,  
"Come on, what is your trouble?"

Tully blushed and looked away,  
While fiddling with his hair.  
"If you don't mind, I'd really  
Much prefer to not go there."

"No, no," said Moffitt, "come along,  
And tell us what you do.  
It can't be worse than ours, I'm sure,  
And we all shared with you."

At last our Tully cleared his throat  
And said, "My hair is dyed,  
I told you I was golden haired,  
I now confess I lied."

Disappointed, Manfred turned,  
And crept off still unseen,  
While thinking what a waste of time  
That whole charade had been.

He'd wanted juicy gossip and  
He'd hoped to be appalled.  
But he'd gone too soon as Tully cried,  
"Well actually, I'm bald!

I cannot lie to you, my friends,  
My hair's not mine at all.  
Without these locks, I must confess,  
I'm just a billiard ball."

He pulled his helmet off and then,  
Removed that wig so fine,  
And standing in the firelight,  
They watched his bald head shine.

"Who was there, Troy, you or me?"  
Hitch whispered in his shock.  
"I'd sooner find out you preferred  
To dress up in a frock."

"I don't!" said Troy, just in case -  
He didn't want to risk it.  
"I must say though, Tully's wig,  
It really takes the biscuit!"

Tully put his wig and helmet  
Back upon his head.  
He really wished they'd never heard  
The things that voice had said.

Back in his tent, poor Manfred slept,  
And dreamed of steak so rare,  
But if he'd heard what Tully said,  
He would have dreamt of hair!

The end.


End file.
